| She's still here. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|03:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
I have hopes she is leaving soon but given that she is not paying for her own hotel, she may never go. She is very disruptive to my dad's routine and although he wants to see her and worries he won't see her again before he dies, she drains all the energy from a room and from everyone she comes into contact with. She is a very difficult guest. I realize the almost 12 years difference in our ages translate to us having very different parents. Just as I am not the same person I was ten years ago the people who raised me were more mature and mellow than the ones who raised her. As such, I grew to adulthood keeping an eye on my parents, knowing there were limits to their physical abilities and they relied on me more than they had on the older kids. She grew up expecting them to do for her and the she need not reciprocate in any way. But most only children or in her case, the oldest with a huge gap, grow out of that center of the universe mentality - I guess it is a little late to ever think that that will happen for her.
Friday, I came home from work (around 7 PM) to find my father alone. Not unusual even with the Sister-monster visiting but he looked so pathetic. He said he didn't feel well and that his throat was so sore he couldn't eat or drink - he hadn't had anything since about 9 AM. She's an adult, granted she never had kids but neither did I and I know how to take care of someone. She just left him their looking all white/grey and drained. She'll be 55 years old in May and later, after I called my brother and the 2 of us took him to the emergency room and had him admitted (with pneumonia) I called the Sister-monster who told me she knew he should go to the emergency room but that he didn't want to. ::Insert creative cursing of her intelligence and judgment::
He was released from the hospital today and is back home, but we have to A) follow the doctor's instructions about medicine ect and B) go in for additional testing as the X-rays of his chest lead them to believe he may be developing lung cancer.
Selfishly I am not ready for him to die. I can't say I ever will be. It's not like a year or two years from now will be any different. I know he takes up a lot of my time, but as much as I bitch about it I like having someone to fuss over. |
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| Comments: |
How awful. I have an older and brother and sister who just don't feel the need to help out with my father. They were reluctant to help with my mother before she died. Their attitude is rather, "Oh their old, you know?"
It can be difficult to deal with sibs about elderly parents. I hope things work out for you
*hugs you tightly*
((hugs))
My mom had the same problem with her sister. There is 11.5 years between them. My aunt was married and on her own when my grandmother was dying of cancer. My mom was 13. My aunt didn't take much interest in what went on with my mom and grandfather until my mom was old enough to take care of everything on her own. Then my aunt wanted to know why my mom was doing laundry and homework at 2 am.
We are never ready to lose a parent. So we must remember to stop and give them a hug for no reason once and awhile. It confuses them and it makes them smile. It also makes them wonder what we have done...*g*
*hugs you* My mother and her brother have similar differences when dealing with their elderly parents. Every time there's an emergency, like when my grandfather fell and broke his hip, my uncle calls my *mother* and not an ambulance. He just refuses to be in charge and doesn't want to deal with it.
You're in my thoughts. | |
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