If it doesn't work, hit it with a hammer.

I'm the one in the green helmet

2007-09-04T00:51:30Z

untitled unbetaed work in progress - part one

2007-08-05T22:39:03Z

Bunny in progress

Crossover Harry Potter/Practical Magic (Surely this has been done before? Did no one else think Gilly should have been a Slytheren – just from the snake tattoo alone?)

AU, of course, starts two years before TSS, but possible spoiler of all seven books… or is that eight since PM should be included.

Warnings: violence, death, slash (surprised? I didn't think so)

Suggestions for title appreciated – preferably something not beginning with letters 'RE'

The Boy

The boy was slight and very small for his age. This was not due to neglect as he was the apple of his mother's eye and dotted on by his many aunts. Whenever people would comment on him not looking nearly eleven - which he was and which they always did – his father would ruffle his hair and say 'don't worry buckaroo, you'll get there'. Besides being small and slight, there was not much to remark about the boy. He had a creamy completion, like many other children, wavy hair the color of milk chocolate, like many other children and a healthy dose of curiosity, like pretty much all other children.

His most unique feature which he had inherited from his father was one blue eye and one green. His father was the only man in the Owens family, which was odd since his last name was Hallett. For over two hundred years the women of the family were widowed, when they bothered to marry at all, and only gave birth to daughters. Why or how they kept going back to the Owens name had never been explained in any manner that had made sense to the boy. It had something to do with a curse which had been broken and therefore didn't really matter any more. It had been broken a very long time ago, exactly nine months before he'd been born.

His father had been a genuine Texas Ranger and now worked as the town's sheriff. He wore cowboy boots and spoke with a drawl. All the aunts flirted with him and he didn't regret giving up the chase to settle down and take care of 'the girls'. The girls were Mother, of course and the boy's older sisters Kylie and Antonia, Aunt Gilly, who was mother's sister and Aunt Jet, whose real name was Bridget and Aunt Frances who had been his grandmother's older sisters. His whole family, practiced The Craft and the townfolk knew they were different, but things were good. Once the curse had been broken people in their small New England town began to accept them. They were still called witches, but it was said without fear, just with the same tone in which they mentioned that the Greens next door were Baptists.

The boy had a good life, a happy childhood. But that all changed a year ago when the men with wands came. Out in their back garden, Kylie and he had been competing to see who could swing the highest and jump off. She was older and taller but he was more fearless. Antonia was reading or probably day dreaming, since the boy knew she read much faster than it took her to finish the thick books with garish covers of pretty people in historical costumes making out. Antonia was lounging in the shade on the old wooden glider, too lost in her world of lust and adventure to be cajoled into joining their contest. When she screamed he'd thought Jimmy Angeluv had come back from the dead again. A resonable assumption given the number of times his sisters had told him that story as they huddled under blankets with flashlights late at night.

A man in a black cloak had appeared out of nowhere accompanied by a loud cracking sound. He grabbled Antonio and yelled 'don't move' and some other words which made no sense. Kylie and he both let go of the swings, as its impossible to not move on a swing and landed hard; Kylie screaming for their mother. The boy just watched as an eerie dark red light crackled around Antonia as she fell to the ground and convulsed violently. Kylie pushed out with her hand, and with power, in the direction of the man and he stumbled back. He looked more supprised than hurt but had stopped pointing at Antonia with his stick and she stopped convulsing, althought the red light stayed wrapped around her neck, ankles and stomach.

The man pointed where Kylie had been, but she was fast and already running to the house still screaming for their mother and Gary. Gary was what both Kylie and Antonia called the boy's father. The boy knew his father was at work, but when you called, really called and really meant it, his father could hear you anywhere and would come for you. It was part of the story, the story of the boy, the story of his father and the story of the dead man from under the rose bush which always made his mother say his Aunt Gilly had the worst taste in men.

There was a crack and an explosion where the man had pointed but he'd missed Kylie again. The man called him something, it was said in the tone of a swear word, but it sounded like 'Muddle'. The boy didn't waste time trying to figure it out, or the words which had made the explosion or the words that pushed pain into his sister's body as she lay panting on the ground. The boy though about roses, he thought about how the bush, which had been torn out and the ground salted, had bloomed so much and grown so big. He dug his fingers into the ground and reached. The way Kylie reached out when she pushed people, the way his mother reached out to light candles with no match, the way the Aunts reached out to make people behave like they wanted or events occur when they wished.

He lay there in front of the man, thinking of roses, thinking of power, thinking he wanted that man to get the hell away from his sister. And he pulled. Pulled life, pulled tiny roots which hadn't died, small living things deep down in the ground. The ground split and thick thorny branches spung up pulling the man down, pulling the man into the ground. The stick dropped useless beside him and his screams drowned out Antonia quiet whimpers. The boys mother burst from the house, carring her ladle from where she'd been in her workshop. He was really glad to see his mother and thought she looked quite fierce, weilding a ladle with her dark hair tossed around in a wind which seemed to blow up from nowhere.

The boy could see his mother's power crackle around her. Antoinia couldn't see power and could do very little with what she had, Kylie was the best and Aunt Frances and Aunt Jet said she would be as powerful as their mother one day. They weren't sure about him. He was more like his father. The whole family had been shocked that his father had learned to wield magic after meeting his mother. His father's magic was different, at least that was what the Aunts said. They said it felt different; the boy said it looked different.

No one in the family could see the magic the way he could. Sometimes though, at night as he sat on the porch swing with his father and listened to him naming stars and telling stories, the boy could point out things and show his father. Show him just how to tilt your head or squint your eyes to see the magic. That was enough, enough to let him know that there was nothing to worry about. Because when he tried to make his mother and the aunts see it they would look worried and put their heads together and talk it out over Margaritas in the kitchen.

He could see the magic now, the light blue and silver of his mother, swirling like the wind. The dark red, crackling magic still wrapped around his sister. The pond scum green of the roses blooming even in the cool spring as still more shoots burst throught the hard ground and tightly wrapped around the man and tried to enter his mouth as he screamed.

"Austin, get in the house, now," his mother said.

The boy shook his head and pointed at his sister. He said brokenly, "it's… red. Can't you see? She's dying. He's doing this. Make him stop."

The man gurgled, his gag reflex not being enough to keep out the persistant plant. His mother knelt next to Antonia running her fingertips lightly over her first on her then above her by a few inches, trying to feel what he was talking about. Antonia had stopped making any noise and had bitten through her lip, the blood covered the lower part of her face.

The boy glanced back at the house and saw the aunts looking out. Well Aunt Frances and Aunt Jet, Aunt Gilly was in town running the shop. Aunt Jet had a strangle hold on Kylie and was keeping her from running back out to them. Aunt Frances had the Book and was paging through it in between glancing up to keep an eye on the events in the yard. The boy stood shakily and thought about running in as his mother told him. But she couldn't see.

He had trouble making his voice work and had to try twice to say, "He's pushing pain into her, Mum. He… said something and pointed and the pain's… even after Kylie pushed him and he dropped that thing," he kicked the wand toward his mother, "somehow he's still doing this… he's killing her."

He wasn't ashamed of crying. His father said only cowards were afraid to cry. Antonia was a pill sometimes and all she talked about was which boy she liked and who was going with whom and what girl said what about what other girls but she was… his. He stumble over to her and his mother and tried to feel the magic the way the aunts always tried to teach him. He couldn't, all he could feel was a cold heaviness in his chest and chocked on a sob as he saw how unfocued Antonia's eyes were, how her hand felt clammy and he couldn't uncurl her tightly fisted fingers. He couldn't feel what his mother was feeling as she trembled and looked around wildly as if trying to figure out how to take what was hurting Antonia and bury it or break it. He couldn't feel, but he could see and he could reach, the way he had pulled the roses so he reached and pull the dark red crackling energy from around his sister's neck and unwound it and ball it up and push it back into the man who was pinned to the ground weasing for air.

The man's body convulsed as Antonia's had but his scream was muffled by the leaves and vines of the roses. Antonia didn't sigh, she didn't blink, she didn't give any sign that he had helped. The dark red of the pain magic was gone, but her own silvery pink light was dim and flickering. Antonia never had pushed out with her magic it just floated around her, they way Aunt Gilly's did most of the time, sort of staying inside and making her, well her. But now it was so faint almost invisible in the spring sunshine.

With a loud crack two more men appeared wearing long blue robes. They gapped at his mother. One lifted a wand, pointed at them and said, "Obliv-arrrgh" dropped his wand and clutched his now smoking arm in pain.

"Freeze," his father said. Holding a gun in his right hand and his badge in his left. It was the badge that burned the man and paralized the newcomers.

"Gary, she's not breathing!" The boys' mother wailed and started CPR on Antonia.

"You," his father said and indicated the man with the burn arm. "Start talking.

The other man looked shocked as the man immediately said, "This man is a deatheater, he escaped from Azkaban-"

"Stop talking," the boy's father holstered his gun and hollered, "Jet, I can't make hide nor hair outta what he's saying, didn't you go to school in England?"

Aunt Jet had obviously passed Kylie off to Aunt Frances as she came out, wrapping a shawl around her shoulders and said, "Azkaban's a wizards prison, they don't follow The Craft, they don't follow much of anything the damn fools."

Both men in blue looked mad but neither could say anything, and they wouldn't be able to until the boy's father told them to or told them that they were free to go. Sirens sounded in the distance and Gilly's car skidded up over the rise in the yard and parked off kilter. She jumped out, open-mouthed and just shook her head and ran to his mother. She took over the chest compressions while his mother focused on the breathing. His mother's face was smeared with Antonia's blood. It hurt, sitting there, watching Aunt Gilly pushed against Antonia's chest, feeling her cold, lax hand in his.

"She's gone," the boy said.

His mother ignored him and kept breathing, but his Aunt Gilly, tears streaming down her face looked right at him but kept counting the compressions.

"Can you bring her back, Mum?" He asked. "Like you did for Jimmy? Can you bring her back?"

His mother looked up in horror, the ambulance pulled up and the EMS personell took over. His mother went in the ambulance with Antonia and Gilly said she'd follow. None of the people with the ambulance had looked at the roses and the body wrapped in them on the ground or at the men in robes frozen in the yard, but then Aunt Frances was inside with the book, probably telling Kylie just what to do.

The men in the blue robes were Aurors. The boy's father wasn't impressed. The wizards seemed suprised that they'd been bested by someone from outside their orderly world. Or not so orderly as the boy's father pointed out.

The one who hadn't been burned was younger and muttered something about Antonio. The word 'squib' set Aunt Frances off into a black rage. Truth was Aunt Frances didn't have nearly as much push as Aunt Jet did, nor had she gone to the fancy school that Aunt Jet had gone to - Aunt Jet said it was because she was too busy chasing boys. But Aunt Frances was the creative one, and with her ideas and Aunt Jet's power they were quite the team. Since Aunt Jet was busy rounding up Kylie and packing up some stuff to take with them to the hospital, the boy decided he could help out Aunt Frances, after all he didn't know exactly what impotent was but if Aunt Frances decided that was what these men needed to be then they would be it until she told him they didn't need to be it any more.

As the Aurors contacted their bosses, regarding evacuating what was left of their deatheater and compensating the Americans, the boy's father cocked his head and squited at them before looking at the boy and saying, "you don’t have to do everything your aunts tell you to, y'know." The boy thought about it and nodded. He wondered if it had been a good idea, showing his father how to see magic, because the Aurors and their deatheather now had black bands about a foot wide circling their hips.

Unrelated - part 38 of Reconciliation is up here http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/

wordsmithslash @ 2007-02-10T11:02:00

2007-02-10T16:02:55Z

When deleting a comment which you may have decided was

A) In poor taste
B) Too confrontational
C) Undeserved

Please be aware that you words are still passed on via email to the recipient.

On the lighter side:

free enneagram test

Oh and for those of you who don't frequent
http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/ - and why don't you? - Reconciliation - part 33 is up.

::Waves::

2007-01-28T14:03:30Z

Thank you to everyone who asks about and post concern about Dad here and at wordsmithslash@yahoo.com. I keep putting off updating on him since there always seems to be something new we're waiting of info on.

2006 started with his bout of pneumonia, which was actually fortuitous since it led to them noticing the mass forming in his lung. He broke his hip shortly before he was scheduled for implants of tiny gold seeds so that high doses of radiation could be focused on the mass so it got a bit bigger while we were getting him back on his feet. He was moving better after the hip surgery than before since the two week stay in rehab had him up and moving every day – and he maintained that increased mobility as long a the cute physical therapist was coming a couple times a week. However once that stopped he went back to only moving when he couldn't find away around it (that'd be me).

The living room is about 25 by 15 and he has his chair, a hospital bed and the TV – this is pretty much all he needs to live. The bathroom we added on the first floor is just off the living room – which adds five to six feet to the steps he must take per day. The Kitchen is passed the bath off the dinning room its 7 by 13 (the kitchen not the dinning room) the whole downstairs of the house including the stairs up to the second floor and down to the cellar is about 30 by 25… not a big world, when the weather is nice he will go sit on the back porch sometimes but this is a guy who runs the furnace in June. The more I try to get him to get up and just walk across the room the less he moves. He has a tendency to get dehydrated and I swear it is because he feels if he drinks less it will be less trips to the bathroom. He's not in pain when he walks (although his pain threshold is so low he'd ask for anesthesia to have a Band-Aid removed) but he is very weak and unsteady – due to never moving.

Brother took him in to have the lung cancer checked as it has been six months since they finished the radiation therapy. Now they found a mass in his colon and want to do a test. I asked Brother to see if they can do it as an inpatient as with his mobility and weakness, I really don't think he can purge his bowels without breaking another hip. (I've had a colonscope – not the fun for all activity you would expect it to be)

Brother has been a lot busier lately since the divorce finally went through and he did get one of the smaller businesses they owed – so now he has a job that doesn't get pulled out from under him (there was a time she was firing him every time PMS hit). The SIL – or exSIL – or shall we just call her Sybil? I have known this girl since she was sixteen – yes, she was self-centered and selfish but she could be charming and wasn't that I could see absolutely crazy… I remember talking about her with my mom right after the first of their children were born – 'cause I thought she had some out-there ideas on child raising and seemed more concerned by if she was the baby's most favorite person rather than what was good for the baby. Mum, who had a policy of staying out of things like that, said she was just young and she'd grow out of it…. She never did. She is still messing up her kids but good and while I feel for them and wish them the best – three of them are over eighteen and really need to decide if the ease and comfort of their co-dependency is worth being tied to an obsessive control freak for the rest of their lived.

Sybil's currently playing some sort of game with dad where she calls him and acts all concerned about him and his health. She then promises that she'll bring the kids over to see him and then never comes. Now dad has his own issues and while he tries to play the martyr about how no one comes to see him or calls him, he really makes absolutely no effort either. He constantly says 'you're right' to me but still everyday stays 'she didn't come' – I point out that every one of his four grandchildren have cell phones stuck to their ears 24/7 and if indeed any of them wanted to they could call for 2 minutes and say 'hey, how are you?' and really don't need mommy-dearest to broker a meeting. We live maybe 10 to 15 miles from them and they have cars. They know he is alone all day while I'm at work and don't have to worry about seeing me – they all work for mommy so don't have to worry about being late or leaving early or not coming in at all.

In the past 2 years he saw the oldest the most maybe 8 to 10 times – this was because the oldest was under house arrest at brothers for a period of about three months – until the whole SuperBowl incident (see previous post – and who says we don't put the fun in dysfunctional) He has seen the oldest girl maybe 3 times? I'll be generous and say 4, and the youngest boy – that'd be my godson, twice. He has seen the youngest the most because the mother of the year (when not making noises as if she is going to go to court and say Brother molested both his daughters) lets the youngest visit her father – there's a court order but that hasn't stopped her from sitting the girl down and saying 'when your not here mommy missing you so, much' crying until she gets the kid crying and then calling Brothers voice mail and playing the kid crying and saying she doesn't want to come see daddy. (oh, yeah one of these kids is going to write a book if they live). He saw the great-grand daughter 3 times… I think, the mother is very stand offish since she lives with Sybil and can't read if she is to be nice or hate the old man and is afraid (and rightly so since there is no telling what that woman's reaction to anything will be) that if Sybil thinks she is not siding with her and completely in support of her 'I'm the victim – this is all my husband's fault' mentality that she'll be cut off from any funds.

I think the latest contacts – which started right after Christmas have been spurred by Sybil wanting $10,000 for tuition for the oldest girl. This is the one who started college – got sent home about 3 weeks in for being dangerously underweight and making herself barf – was shipped off to the clinic for about $40,000. Brother has never been permitted to see any of the doctors he is expected to pay for – the daughter is now not speaking to brother – because mommy told her daddy would not let her go to school. Brother actually said – let's get her healthy before enrolling her and putting her back under pressure – fix the weight first then when she's handling that send her back to school. Sybil of course wouldn't her it and sent her back to school – this is a girl who 2 months before had been 85 pounds… needless to say she's still bulimic and back at school. But it's all her father's fault – the daughter has no responsibility for her health and wellbeing.

That is the big issue. The one that is killing my brother's kids. In order for Sybil to maintain this fantasy world where she is the heroine in some Lifetime Movie – nothing in her life can be her fault. Actions can have absolutely no repercussions. Her sons' drug problems and mental disorders, her daughter's negative self image and self destructive actions, are not due to their actions, have not been exacerbated by her deep-seated need to be the be all and end all of their lives – their savior and the one they turn to for every decision. In order to stay in control to be the good kind caring mother she truly thinks she is she has to blame everything on my brother. This is all because he left her. She won't ever admit that she drove him away or in anyway influenced his leaving.

In her the script that is her life they were the a close loving couple who one day out of the blue he just walked out for the other woman. I watched my brother in an abusive relationship for twenty years. I didn't help him. Partly because I didn't know how and partly because like my mother I think you just stay out of it… getting between a couple like that is just bad. Maybe, as the youngest I thought he wouldn't listen to me… maybe I felt he'd already made his choice and chose her over his family. Because make no mistake – she was very clear that they were his family now. I see now that that is classic abusive spouse behavior to try and separate the 'victim' from any sort of support and she did succeed to some degree. My brother has reconnected with friends from grade school and high school over the five years it has taken him to go from moving out to being legally divorced from that woman. I really respect that he joined a support group (he's one of the only men) I think men especially have it hard. Just admitting that they've been in that kind of trap takes so much strength on their part give what the male social role still is. I really missed my brother he was a couple miles away all those years but he changed, I like having him back again.

The problem is all his kids need help. He still loves them and worries for their health – mental and physical. The key factor in all of them getting any sort of help is to admit that their problem is *their* problem but her problem is so tied to everything being my brother's fault that she will not let them admit that even to themselves. If you asked her point blank if she would rather see her kids dead or healthy, happy, successful and with no need to have her in their lives she would cry and tell you how much she loves them and how much she has done for them and how much they need her … and that's the deal breaker. She is so tied up in the role of the mom of the troubled kids and playing the victim and detailing how much she has spent and how much she has done to get them all help. She can't give it up. Aside from the normal obstacles to get around with drugs, violence, and various forms of mental illness those kids have this scream emotional sinkhole standing between them and any sort of recovery. My heart goes out to them but I'm back in that frustrating sideline hoping that at least one of them takes a page from their father's book and walks away – it seems like their only chance to survive.

Wow, what a downer… but very cathartic. Thanks for listening. I actually had a great Christmas. Brother cooked – he does turkey and all the fixings very well. I like his girlfriend. She's a grown up and brave enough not to be scared off by Sybil (although Sybil did call her boss(es) and says she was having an affair with a married man). Has two kids of her own, both alive and well, son is in the navy and was here for Christmas – nice boy mentally stable with no visible addictions – there were board games. Her daughter just got married so they went there for Christmas Eve.

I joined WeightWatchers in July and have lost around 40 pounds. I feel much more health conscious – I think I'll be able to manage and maintain better on this than some of the previous diets I've tried. I'm just getting too old to carry all that extra weight, I was feeling it in my knees and I don't want to have dad's mobility problems when I get older – I am so out living him – if he can make 82 with all the smoking and bad habits he had I have my eye on 125 – after all there will be medical advances and all I really need is a room with a computer. Thank God my addictions will at least keep my mind working.

I wonder if anyone will still be slashing BtVS in 2075? I'm kind of in a deadzone – like a sailboat without wind – all my fandoms are from shows not on any more. Fewer and fewer people are writing my OTP Xander/Spike – the AresJoxerCupidStrife list still has some talent working for it – thank God for syndication. The only Brokeback I've been following religiously is MadLori at http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/ . Scribe has a masterful original work based on Dracula called 'Child of the Night' at http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/scribescribbles/ which is long and lovely and a WIP up to about 117 chapters. Am I showing my age? I miss non-reality TV – it slashes better. The only new shows I've see are Heroes, Jake 2.0 and The Dresden Files. Although I'm thinking slash could do a lot with nanite technology.

Well back to working on chapter 32 of 'Reconciliation' – I really will have to get what I have bete'd – its not enough just having people point out the glaring errors in grammar as feedback – I need it read and some of the gaping holes in the timeline/plot plugged up. I wonder if my favorite beta has recovered from her big move yet and has time to read over something with so may OCs? Have to remember to send and email on that since I don't remember how to post anything on my site being a backwards child.

wordsmithslash @ 2006-10-28T12:42:00

2006-10-28T12:46:06Z

Thank you everyone who has emailed me or sent me a comment post throughout LJ – it gives a weird warm feeling that people who have never met you care how your life is going.

Dad is okay – we got his regular doctor to write him another physical therapy script and so for the past two months he's had that at home a couple times a week. There hasn't been much progress with it and he had is last visit yesterday – he says he does the exercises in bed before he gets up every morning and he tells me he walks during the day around the house but there has been no visible progress in his mobility. He still walks like Tim Conway in that old Carol Burnette skit and is very very unsteady. He uses the cane around the house instead of the walker but I think that is just pure cussedness and not any real improvement. He improved so much right after the hip broke that he was walking better after than before and now he is worse that before he broke it. Not entirely unrelated the physical therapist this time was a guy instead of a cute girl.

Brother took him to the follow-up with the lung cancer doctor on Thursday. Dad had a PET scan last week and they had to drag him into the office to give him the results – can't tell people over the phone because you can't charge them – which okay, fine but he waited three hours from his appointment time and still had not seen the doctor. They had to leave – on because brother does have a life and two because the old man was trying to wheel himself out (we make him use a wheelchair in the hospital because the corridors are so long) since about the first hour of waiting.

So we still don't know how the lung mass looks – did it shrink? Did it grow? What's the next step? He still has to see another skin doctor about that cancer – and people wonder why I never get sun, obviously they've never seen someone get pieces of their face sliced off. Hopefully brother can talk them into charging for the visit that never happened and releasing the results over the phone.

Live is busy but good. I have a seminar to go to this weekend but I'm get finishing up the second NYC chapter of Reconciliation and think that there may be 3 NYC chapters, I thought I could do it in two but… not. I really want to get back to Farmingdale. I love that town, Madlori really made it breath and it's such a fun place to play – anyone can go to New York but only those of us privileged to read Madlori get to see Farmingdale.

I've been indulging a good bit of my free time in reading rather than writing just because I'm tired when I get home. Other than 'TCJ' and 'Zero at the Bone', I found a lovely long WIP in the Buffyverse called 'Thralls' by Ne'chin over at WWOMB – well I found it elsewhere but that's where I found the last 10 chapters… its up to 96 and still going…hopefully.

Yes, I'm alive. And how are you?

2006-08-05T15:41:47Z

It is smack in the middle of the three week waiting period before we find out just how effective the treatments were on the cancer. Dad seems pretty blasé about it but I think that part of that is just him being relieved that he wasn't in pain. This intense radiaition didn't have the debilitating effects of chemo so if provided that the out come is good things are working out better than expected. Of course he had been so inactive since the PT stopped he is walking worse than when he broke the hip.

The oldest nephew tried to kill himself and has checked himself into a facility. I worry about him a lot but can't help thinking he is safer being away from the Sister-In-Law. She called dad and told him and also asked him to talk to my brother about how much she needs money and cried at the poor bewildered 82 year old long enough for the battery on his cordless to die and disconnect the call. I was in the house but didn't know this was going on until she called back. She asked to speak with him and I said to wait as he would have to come to the phone, she said don't bother she just wanted to tell him she had thought about it (in the thirty seconds since the disconnect) and did not want him to speak with brother since he would not give her the money because he does not care. She then asked me if there was any mental illness in our family. Apparently I said no too calmly be cause she said, "you say that so calmly" – can I point out I am not Laura Owens – I did not call her Medea, I did not point out her own behavior as being an indication she should look a bit closer to home for mental illness, not did I say that her killing herself would be the best thing she could do for all four children - I stayed out of it just like my mother taught me and the bitch said, "thanks for caring so much" hung up on me.

I had a long talk with brother because Dad called him (just like the maniupulative bitch knew he would) and told him everything. The S-I-L called his voice mail and told him about their son's suicide attempt (she's so caring and feeling – when other people do stuff like that they're cruel, but she's special) she could have called him directly, she apparently knew when she had met him to pick up their youngest daughter who despite the court ordering her to let him see she has not let near since January and threatened that if he made any fuss about it she would say he molested her.

SIL pulled over $200,000 out of their business last year, she borrowed over $20,000 from her mom, she is hitting my dad up using the kids drug problems, eating disorders and depression as the reason. She did spend $60,000 to send the oldest to rehab in Arizona for a month, but pulled him out early to attend his daughter's christening (he missed the conecting flight in Las Vegas and later bragged about picking up some hookers and shooting up with them) She insisted on sending the daughter back to college despite her having to drop out for health reasons, despite my brother (or knowing her because) suggesting it would be better for the oldest girl to get concentrat on getting her weight to and maintaining it at a healty level before exposing her to the pressures of college (that was a $20,000 stay at the Renfrew Center in Philidelphia).

They have been living apart now for almost five years, give or take a botched reconcilliation attempt. I have known her since she was sixteen. She always had… childish impulses – a selfishness that my mother said she would outgrow but about eight or nine years ago she had a miscarrige before the birth of their youngest (seven year old) I don't know if that event caused a chemical imbalance or if it brought forth an unhealty need to control herself and the people around her but she has this pathilogical need to re-write events and force those around her to agree with her. Every one of the older three children are at points where if they do not take hard looks at themselves, face hard truths like you life is your own and your actions have concequences, blaming others or the world or their father for everything is going to weaken them and make them more depend on the very things that are killing them

It's a train wreak. A slow motion nightmare where people you love won't save themselves and they are the only ones who can. Crying and screaming and placing blame is just bogging them down more and making it far less likely that they will every be able to survive the various forms of self medication and oblivion they are using to not face just how much hard work suvival often requires.

Personally I have been kind of goofing off, playing Civilization (look away its addictive) and watching the Food network. I finished chapter 26 of Reconcilliation, I'm letting it sit to proof so I don't have as many glaring errors. The great computer debalck where I moved the file contain that story and all kinds of other stuff into the electonic abyss was tramatic but not fatal. I bought a program online (probably financing terrorism since I couldn't even recognize the country that showed up on my credit card) It retireved a ton of old Word docs – mostly stuff from when I was working on my MBA but I got some of my Reconcilliation notes. I lost all of the research I did on the 80's along with the giant 4 year callender a had of years 82 – 86 for the story (what you think its easy to keep trak of weekends, holidays, birthdays, the estimate of just when Lizzie was to arrive???)

I joined Weight Watchers – I've lost about 13 pounds in 5 weeks, which okay Atkins was faster but I didn't really follow that just cut carbs and ruined my health. I feel at my age I have to take better care of myself, my hips and knees were hurting. I'm eating veggies, everyday – yuck. I am also trying for 2 servings of dairy every day. I was in a fenderbender and have to call my insurance company to find out how much that will cost me. For my mental health I've been taking any time off they offer at work but since it is without pay I'm kind of broke – but happy. The heat fininaly broke so I wandered around my little town today and had visions of Farmingdale everywhere.

HELP my computer at my fiction

2006-07-17T12:20:37Z

Okay so I was saving a doc an clicked wrong on the mouse and moved the file I as saving it to inside the file next to it... no big deal I think, I closed the doc and tried to just move the file back to where it came from.... whimper. It's gone. I tried to search for the docs in it, I checked the recycle bin, I though I
found in ready to be burned to disk but when I tried to move it back its gone... I even ran a system restore from this morning ...

Have I lost everything... is there any hope at all of getting any of it back...?

I have Reconciliation saved to my LJ memories... so I don't have to hunt that down, but all the notes and scene snippets I had completed for future chapters... whimper. It will probably be better for the story if I start them from scratch, but I was attached to some of them... like when Jake and Heph got their first place together.

Any ideas at all.... is there a program I can buy online and download to rebuild the files... or is it to late since I did the restore?

Dad update

2006-06-17T13:53:49Z

But, the part he was dreading is over. He had the biopsy yesterday and they implanted the seeds. It large cell lung cancer (which is apparently better than small cell. His lung partially deflated from all the sharp pokey things and there is a tue in there now attached to a box/pump to keep it inflated. He may be home by late today or tomorrow. We'll go back next week to have it checked (we all so have to see the bone doctor next week to see the hip) and the following week they will begin the treatment (which will not have sharp pokey things and be similar to having a long CAT scan.

wordsmithslash @ 2006-05-31T20:34:00

2006-06-01T00:49:16Z

Dad's home - yesterday was his birthday, he's 82. He came home Saturday, he's had the nurse and the PT visit twice and the OT is coming tomorrow, we're also starting meals on wheels tomorrow. He is not happy about all these people disrupting his routine. He wanted out of the hospital so bad because he was sure once home he could bully me into waiting on him hand and foot again and never moving. The whole reason he broke the hip (aside from massive stuborn stupidity) was his unbelievably sedentary lifestyle has left him with practically no muscle mass. Now they make him exercise - unfortuately he just won't do it when no one is here and one day of laying around can undo the progress of the three days before it.

He goes to bed about 9 or 10 and doesn't get up until almost noon. At least that was life before all this happened. Now he tells the PT not to come until afternoons because he doesn't want to get up early and wants the meals left on the kitchen counter and me to leave the door unlocked when I go to work so that he doesn't have to get up before lunch - grrrrr.

I know laziness got him here but now that he is so weak he gets tired just standing up, but he will not try. I get yelled at alot. I have to get the FML paper work signed because we have to see his primary, his bone doctor, the urologist, before we can see the cancer doctor and have the biopsy/treatment which was scheduled previously for the day after he broke the hip.

I'm so jealous, I wish I could sleep until noon.

I'm sorry I haven't updated Reconciliation but I am planning to work on it this weekend... (I'm also planning on working on my house, because I am sitting in the dark by the light of the computer due to some faulty wiring I have to tinker with zzzzap) part of me is tempted to keep it up until Liz comes to the HI universe & Junior goes off to college and another part thinks I should wrap up the 80s portion and jump ahead 10 years so that they are grown up (but not all grown up) and at least starting families of their own.

I am so hard hearted

2006-05-24T00:28:03Z

I realize he's scared, and frustrated and scared and feeling out of control - I totally feel for him but I am ready to run not walk out of town. He is not even home from the hospital yet and he is driving me crazy.

My typical day now is I leave home for work between 6/6:30 leave work around 5/5:30 and drive from Pittsburgh to Greensburg in rush hour traffic to visit him - I park in the hospital garage run up to his room give him the paper and he gives me orders on what he wants me to do. Now. Right now. If I do not immediatly turn on my heel and bolt out to carry them out, if I try to reason with him or suggest it be done latter he calls someone... or rather makes me look up their number and dial the phone for him so he can give the order to someone else... like one of our neighbors, because he can't depend on me to do it. I don't know why I keep going every day, I'm there like 15 or 20 minutes and he says 'you can go home'. Even his roommate notices and said 'the other girl just comes and sits with him' - yeah that's the sister monster. I'm the one who had to go to 4 stores to get him new slippers - he never asks her to do anything, I get told to move him up in bed, adjust his feet, find the phonebook & dial the phone, then 'you can go'.

He only gets out of the bed to go to physical therapy, he won't even sit up in the bed or in the chair in the room but he is being sent home probably this weekend. I can not take it if he keeps this up. He has just will not do stuff for himself, but he likes to think he's independent. If it were a pain issue I would get it but it's not - the nurses, the doctor, even he says he isn't in pain - he just doesn't *want* to walk or sit.

I'm lazy. I admit it. But if it were the difference between having a life of my own and being bedridden I would push myself.

I came home, an hour or so later due to going to the hospital, moved furniture - tomorrow I'll have to do the same and Thursday the brother and I are going to move some stuff to his place so we have room for a hospital bed downstairs (which the old man is pissed about and punishing me 'cause the brother just ignores him when he gets cranky) He hasn't even seen it and he doesn't like it.

I am so tempted to stay home tomorrow and just call him - tell him I thought I would save gas and let him issue his orders over the phone.

wordsmithslash @ 2006-05-11T08:34:00

2006-05-11T12:34:27Z

Okay, that biopsy? The one where they were going to 'plant' gold seeds so they could blast the lung mass with concentrated radiation? Isn't happening today. Dad was scheduled to have the procedure done at like 5 AM – an intresting strategy but he would still have made a fuss even at that hour.

Last night at about… 7:30 PM he fell (picture an guy who can't walk on two feet trying to do that flamingo thing where you step into you underwear and pull them up while walking… yeah, he'll be 82 at the end of the month) I knew (and anyone who watched him move or walk knew) it was just a matter of time before he broke a hip – I tell him at least daily that things he does… like shuffling to about a yard or four feet from his destination *usually* his chair and trying to fling his body the rest to the distance is going to break his hip and that if he does he will look back to now as the good old days… this little speech is mostly brought on from his constant whoa is me lamenting about how he can't move like he did when he was 19 (40, 70 ect) and how I should not get old (which is just insulting – of course I point out to him that he is basically saying 'die young' to everyone he meets)

God bless Merc and small town life a friend who works at the hospital he was admitted to last night called this morning and said 'Do not let Dr. McFail touch him' I had sent her an email that she didn't read before going to work – didn't want to call after midnight – and asked her to recommend a good bone doctor, but she checked the admittance list and called herself (I so owe her dinner) and recommended three guys she would let operate on her if she were the one with the broken hip.

Oh yeah did I say that? He finally broke it. We've had a couple scares, bad falls where he got up and didn't change his habits… he's on the floor (naked, could have done with out that, yes, I've been scared for life) and he doesn't what me to call for an ambulance… I explain if I was David Copperfield I would not be commuting over an hour a day to work in a cubical… no laughs. So he does let me call my brother who says call an ambulance. No? Really? I would never have thought of that – here you talk to him. So brother comes over and then when brother can not levitate him either Dad gives in and lets us call an ambulance (no I will not take it personally that his first answer to anything I ask him is no… but he will do it for just anyone else, grrr.)

I get to call *the sister* - if I time it right I will get to leave a message and not have to deal with her…after all this is all about her and if we were kind reasonable people we could see that.

still here, still not updating often, at least I'm consistant

2006-04-22T17:15:28Z

For those of you not currently caught up in Brokeback Madness – I'm writing an AU on an AU over at the Human Interest Community – its on chapter 20 as of today

http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/

I seem to write more the worse the outside world gets – that's probably why my stories are all sweetness and light, its escapism

Let's see. Last week I took dad in to consult with the specilist regarding implanting gold seeds into his chest so that massive amounts of radiation can be used to try to reduce/kill the mass in his lung. This is a guy who can't take a band-aid off without pain killers and the docter feels the need to tell him everything that could go wrong even if it has never happened before.

The nurse who got his file together before the consult implied he had been dithering about deciding on treatment – no bitch he got a second opinion, that's normal – and then called a couple hours after I got him home and moved the proceedure from the 27th of April to May 11th – so apparently time is not of the essense.

Meanwhile in my brother's car crash of a marriage – see 'Redneck Version of Medea' in previous posts – his son, who the SIL got out of the nice safe jail and had living in an apartment with the girlfriend and the baby back under house arrest had one month to go when he walked out after a fight. He was a fugitive for a week – SIL never told my brother that their son could be dead and was missing. Thank God and Farmingdale you can't really have a secret in a small town. We found out today she picked him up in Denver after an overdose – he was planning to go to CA and change his identity but called because he couldn' t leave his daughter (she'll be one in July).

My sister knew all this was happening and didn't know we knew it was happening. She was perfectly willing to let her brother remain in the dark when for all anyone knew the kid had overdosed at the nearest… what is the herion equivilent of a crack house? My dad who talks to her every day has been saying for a solid week he doesn't know why the kid isn't returning his calls and does she say anything to put his mind at ease? No, she can't betray my SIL's confidence – I hope she likes that woman because after dad's gone that will be the only family she has.

And to that nice man who sent me the e-mail about not letting people make me feel guilty for not writing faster. Thank you. Kind impulses like that often go unspoken, give yourself a karma-cookie, and may you too get a hug when you most need it.

wordsmithslash @ 2006-04-09T10:44:00

2006-04-09T14:44:40Z

Reconciliation Cast List

'Reconciliation' is fanfiction based upon the fanficitons 'Human Interest' and 'Two Crows Joy' pieces which were/are written/being written by MadLori. Those series are based upon the movie/story 'Brokeback Mountain' and create a rich AU of what would have happened Jack and Ennis had built that sweet life together of which Jack always dreamed in Farmingdale, Vermont.

So some of the characters herein belong to Annie Proulx and others to Lori Summers and some just wandered out of my head. This story starts about two years before 'Human Interest' and due to the events in this story people and events in those stories would be different. (which means that while Lori is more than welcome to have her way with any of the OCs in this, events/people here will not be influencing or altering anything she plans in that world)

Eventually this will be posted on my site http://wordsmith.populli.net/ but is not there now… nor will it be until it is finished and cleaned up.

This is completed (I think) as of chapter 17

BBM is from Brokeback Mountain, HI – means the character was from the series Human Interest of which Reconciliation is a fanfiction. Reconciliation is an AU and will not impact events or people in 'Human Interest' or 'Two Crows Joy'. Some of the characters in Human Interest (mainly the one who are named Twist or DelMar) were created by Annie Prolix in Brokeback Mountain which was the original work which spawned Human Interest.

Bobby Twist – BBM – Son of Jack and Lureen, the cusp that changed the story to AU. Bobby is, in this world, sent from Childress, Texas to live with his father in Farmingdale, Vermont. In the world of 'Human Interest' he stayed in Texas and after a regrettable love affair committed suicide in his senior year of high school. In Texas he was on his own a great deal, in Vermont he has a father who works from his home and keeps a close eye on him. I guarantee he will not be committing suicide in this AU. Called R.J since moving to Farmingdale by everyone but family (we suspect Merc was responsible for that).

Jack Twist – BBM – rancher, born in Lightening Flats, Wyoming now resides in Farmingdale Vermont, father of Bobby and the love of Ennis DelMar's life.

Ennis DelMar– BBM – rancher, born in Riverton Wyoming now resides in Farmingdale Vermont, father Junior and Francie and the love of Jack Twist's life.

Lureen Newsome (Twist) – BBM – Jack's ex-wife, Bobby's mother, still lives in Childress, Texas.

Ben Listner – Lureen's second ex-husband.

L.D. Newsome – BBM – Lureen's father

Alma DelMar (married name unknown) – BBM – Ennis' ex-wife, mother of Junior and Francie, still resides in Riverton, currently married to Monroe.

Monroe (no last name given) – BBM – Alma's husband, in Riverton.

Junior DelMar – BBM – Ennis' daughter, Francie's older sister, Merc's girlfriend. Junior is Bobby's age and they call each other Marsha and Greg. She lives in Riverton with Alma and Monroe.

Francie DelMar – BBM – Ennis' daughter, Junior's younger sister. Does not like being called Jan, but she is neurotic. She lives in Riverton with Alma and Monroe.

Hermes (Merc) Owens – Bobby's best friend, plays guitar in Bobby's band, four months older than Bobby, blond, brash, belligerent and many other words beginning with 'B'. Junior's boyfriend (he lives in Vermont, she lives in Wyoming, its sort of an on paper romance… since his mom saw the phone bill) He developed cancer at the age of four but thanks to surgery, drugs and radiation is now healthy. Farmingdale native.

Hephaestus (Heph) Owens – Merc's older brother (almost 10 full months- they were still in the honeymoon period) according to Merc he can fix anything, do anything, or make anything. Heph moves from having a crush on Jack to dating Jake – not all the slips are Freudian. He gives Bobby his second kiss from a guy, the only one not motivated by revenge. Farmingdale native.

Laura Owens – Mother of the Owen/Cypress brood. Twice widowed she owns a candy factory out past Three Mile Bridge in Farmingdale. Direct, blunt… it's entirely possible this is what Merc would be as a middle aged woman. Farmingdale native.

Hestia Owens – youngest daughter/child in the Owen family. She is Francie's age. AKA call-me-Hannah. Farmingdale native.

James (Jimmy) Cypress – Laura's first husband and father of the four oldest children, Seminole, ex-Marine, DEA, deceased

Harold (Hal) Owens – Laura's second husband and father of the last three children, Farmingdale native, lineman, coach and baseball player, deceased.

The Elder Gods – The Cypress children as referred to by the Owens children

Tyr Cypress – oldest of child of Laura Owens, a Marine, the father of Michael and Sarah and husband of Mary, he currently resides in Virginia.

Mary Cypress – wife of Tyr, mother of Michael and Sarah, she's from a small town in Ireland.

Michael Cypress – Mary and Tyr's son

Sarah Cypress – Mary and Tyr's daughter

Morrigan Cypress – twin of Menthu, only daughter of Jimmy Cypress and only one in Cypress/Owen children to go to college so far, works as a fundraiser for the Red Cross, lives in New Jersey. The twins are the middle children and three years younger than Tyr and two years older than Ares.

Menthu Cypress – twin of Morrigan, works as a model currently lives in New York City, former badass who broke Russell Twopony's nose before graduating from high school, now part-time student in photography and film.

Fenris – Menthu's dog who resides with Laura, a Welsh Elk Hound, he fires up Jack's bear phobias.

Ares Cypress – AKA A.C., three years older than Heph he started his own business in high school making guitars. Now, lives off the map at the edge of Lake Okeechobee in Florida and drafted his cousins to work with him.

Jacob (Jake) Twopony – drummer in Bobby's band. Son of Russell and Angelito and brother of Russell. Heph's boyfriend. Middlebury native, resides in Farmingdale.

Russell Twopony – Jake's brother, Middlebury native.

Marcus Twopony – Jake's father, Apache from Arizona, now an accountant who lives in Middlebury.

Angelito Twopony – Jake's mother, Filipina met and married Marcus when he was in the navy. Owns and operates 'Angelito's' a beauty shop in Middlebury.

Nate Banks – Iva's father – former employee of L.D. Newsome, now resides in North Carolina.

Iva Banks - formerly of Childress, Texas now resides in North Carolina. Friend of Bobby's since he was three. Jack would take them up on the equipment at L.D. business and let them pretend to drive. Iva left town to have Billy Thornton's baby.

Randy Banks – Iva's big brother, now resides in North Carolina.

Billy Thorton – senior and football star when Bobby started his sophomore year in Texas. Bobby kissed him in front of the school and implied they had a relationship in retaliating to the way he treated Iva. Childress, Texas native.

Frank Thorton – Billy's father, owner of local car dealership used influence with L.D. to get Iva's father fired when his son got her pregnant. Childress, Texas native

Principle Hilton – did not expel Billy and postponed his detention until after football season. Childress, Texas native

Marianne – HI- (no last name) – works for Jack and Ennis, makes awesome cheesecake, gives Bobby cooking tips.

Tommy 'Quasar' Rowe – former drummer for Bobby's band, currently works at the arcade in mall at Middlebury and lives in Farmingdale.

Rene Albright – daughter of the local Methodist minister in Farmingdale. Bobby's first girlfriend in Farmingdale. It was not a happy break-up.

Reverend Vonivich – Baptist minister in Farmingdale, father of twin daughters

Yvette Vonivich – twin sister of Yvonne, daughter of Baptist minister in Farmingdale, has a crush on Heph. Currently in Burlington at University of Vermont.

Yvonne Vonivich – twin sister of Yvette, daughter of Baptist minister in Farmingdale, dated Bobby after Rene but not seriously. Currently in Burlington at University of Vermont.

Janet Kretchet – older girl, from Farmingdale came back from holiday with Aunt Maggie with new boobs – there's not a lot going on in small towns.

Maggie Kretchet – Janet's aunt, works for plastic surgeon in LA

Alice Doctorow – HI – waitress at Fishery

Sheriff Walt (no last name given) - HI – Farmingdale sheriff.

Rita – brunette, vendor from upstate New York who travels the faire circuit with her partner selling candles, oils and lotions

Elaine – strawberry blonde, vendor from upstate New York who travels the faire circuit with her partner selling candles, oils and lotions

Tammy – Francie's best friend in Riverton

Chad Cashdollar – Tammy's boyfriend

Janet Freemont – friend of Jake's who manages the Philip Pelusi's at Middlebury mall. Middlebury native.

Maggie Dunlap – owns and runs the Farmingdale Laundromat and rents a room to Jake. Farmingdale native.

Elizabeth (Miss Betty) Tilden – Jake's neighbor and clerical administrator at Farmingdale city hall. Owned by a cat named Panic. Farmingdale native.

Panic – evil tom cat who only Miss Betty could love.

Eugene (Gene) Dethorn – Heph's rival since 4th grade, local badass, president of Junior Achievement. Farmingdale native.

Fred Trimble – HI – owner of the local salvage yard – a god to Heph – husband of Arlene.

Arlene Trimble – HI- Fred's wife

Bill Rensselaer – HI – Mayor of Farmingdale

Annie Rensselaer – HI – Bill's wife

Jeff Magoto – owner of the Tumbling Dice, a roadhouse on the highway near the mall

Megan Higgens – maker of the best scones in four counties (started making them to get people to buy her preserves, which are only so so.

Higgen's roadside farm stall – on the main road on the outskirts of Farmingdale

Craig McCutcheon –HI- dealer in dairy equipment, in HI refers to Jack as 'the missus' to Ennis and lives to tell about it. Completely unaware of how obnoxious he is, thinks Bobby would be a good catch for his girl.

Felicia McCutcheon – Craig's daughter, briefly is Bobby's groupie/girlfriend

Amanda Morgan – Felicia's former best friend

Nellie Rodgers – retired guidance councilor of Farmingdale High School

Jerri Rappa nee Rothwell – new guidance councilor of Farmingdale High School

Eric Campbell – Principle of Farmingdale High School

Jed Clampett and Jethro Bodine – Uncle and nephew from the Beverly Hillbillies (Ennis has never called Jack and Bobby, Jed and Jethro…. But he's thought it)

Bruce Lee – actor, philosopher, Bobby's hero

Willie Nelson – songwriter, performer, won Bobby's heart by telling him his mama was beautiful (okay, he worshiped him before that but now it's really love)

Jimmy Carter – former president and founder of the Department of Education (Bobby blames him for Billy Thorton not being expelled, it's complicated – see chapter 2)

wordsmithslash @ 2006-03-13T19:39:00

2006-03-14T00:53:08Z

Now I feel massively guilty for not being more patience. I realize this has hit him totally out of the blue (that's sarcasm, you smoke 3 packs a day and have a triple bypass and several strokes, and you know you've pushed the odds) but he is making me crazy.

I leave at 5:30 AM & get home around 7 PM – 4 days a week. I do not like this schedule but it leaves me a day to schedule his doctors' appointments and other things that are hard to do on weekends. Before I even get the door closed he is screaming for me from his chair (he is perfectly capable of moving around the house he just has this super recliner and he prefers to stay in it about 90% of his waking hours) – he needs me to call on two bills he received (he's also perfectly capable of using the phone, except he yells at recordings).

If he could figure out a way to send me to the bathroom for him – he would.

Please go read 'Reconcilation' over at http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/ (of course you'll have to read "Human Interest" first or it won't make any sense since it is fanfiction of fanfiction) and tell me you love me inspite of my typos.

wordsmithslash @ 2006-03-12T19:47:00

2006-03-13T00:55:22Z

Well. Dad has lung cancer. The PET scan also shows it may have spread to an area of the tongue. (ack, ewww) He is scheduled to consult with the specialist on the 23rd... I think brother is taking him - he is better behaved with brother and listens to him. I feel so bad for him... Dad is afraid of pain, needles and pretty much deals with anything bad by just avoiding it.

The oldest nephew called him today. The kid has been out of jail for weeks and made no attempt to call or just send a card to say 'I know you worry about me - just wanted you to know I'm okay' but then for the 3 months he was under house arrest across town he called the old man once. Dad told sister yesterday so she must have told sister-in-law which prompted the call, since none of the kids call or visit their grandfather (they all are within 10 miles of him) because he will not disown/turn on their father.

I need a new job and to get the hell out of town. Dad is the only one keeping me here and at his age and with cancer...

So, where would a good place to move to be? Let's play 'anywhere but here?'

Fiction/Writer Rec

2006-02-21T00:25:07Z

Anyone (like me) who sobbed publically during 'Brokeback Mountain' and wondered why all of these talented people went to so much effort for everyone to end up dead and/or depressed can find a welcome AU where Jack and Ennis end up together thanks to MadLori a very talented professional writer who has woven a rich tapestry of their day to day lives in 1983 Vermont. Go read, laugh, cry - join in my addiction.

I found it here http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/ but, there is a new community just for the series and planned sequel at http://community.livejournal.com/humaninterest/

So much for New Year's resolutions

2006-02-08T17:18:12Z

I really intended to update more frequently... but well life.

My family is turning into a Redneck version of

Being from Pittsburgh, of course I watched the game - I've tried to explain to out of towners that here, even if you don't care for sports you know/like/watch more than most sport's fans in other cities. Besides, there's always food involved and my brother is a hell of a cook. So, I was over there watching The Game ect until about 10:30 and then went home to Dad who didn't feel like going out in the cold to watch a game he could watch (and nap through) at home. Everything was normal, Nephew 1 who is under house arrest (no not grounded, low jacked by the county jail due to trying to kill Nephew 2) had place a bet and although brother told him he shouldn't have he was pretty cool - it was a passing comment made because Nephew 1 has a girlfriend and baby living with his mom and as part of trying to be a responsible adult should not be placing $200 (about one forth of his net worth) on a game.

So by the time I leave, and my cousin and his son leaves, and my brother and his girlfriend but away all the food and clean up its about 11:30 and they go to bed. Nephew 1 who had called Nephew 2 in front of all of us during the game and told him to come over and they would play some poker went downstairs to his bedroom and sent and email (which was replied to so brother read/printed it afterward so that's how I know) to bring some beer and cigarettes and come over... point of fact when you are under house arrest you are not permitted to drink, just like prison - they have you periodically - when an alarm installed in your home goes off speak into a microphone to be voice ID'ed and breath into a testing mechanism. Both nephews are recovering addicts and on drugs for drugs and drugs for mental illness and should not drink even if no one was policing them.... oh and nephew 2 is on probation, he is not permitted out of his house without an adult after 8 PM(okay I am unclear on what type of probation this is but he tried to kill his mom and I think is in her custody - he is over 18 and under 21 so in PA he can not legally drink under any circumstances)

But I digress. Nephew 2 came over around 12:30 and after a little bit my brother woke to the sound of people leaving the house, he looked out the window just in time to see nephew 1 get into a black jeep and drive off.... he knows nephew 2 has a black jeep and calls his son, gets voice mail and says to call right back, he then calls his wife (yep this ... what is Jack Twist said? a godamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation has been going on over 3 years and they still haven't got the divorce... signed on the dotted line yes but she keeps breaking the agreements, like the shared custody was stopped not by the court but her telling him if he keep seeing his youngest daughter (6) she would accuse him of child molestation)

His wife (who he woke up) said she knew that nephew 2 was violating his probation and out of the house but she was sure he was not drinking and that he had not assisted/encourage his brother to violate the house arrest - the call ended here because brother had to take a call from Nephew 2 - he talked to both of them, they had been drinking and tried to sell him some story about Nephew 2 calling Nephew 1 to help him push his jeep out of the ditch (it was snowing and they did not know brother had saw them leave).

Nephew 2 drops off Nephew 1 and Brother calls him an idiot and asks what he was thinking... they yell a bit and brother tells him to go to bed and turns to go to bed himself. Nephew punches him from behind and puts him in a choke hold, brother - who breathes regularly and often, or tries to - flips nephew off him into a kitchen cabinet causing nephew 1's nose to break. The girlfriend is cowering in the next room holding her cell phone but not wanting to call the police because she likes nephew 1 and does not want to get him it trouble but is afraid he is going to kill his father who is sort of laying on the kid, (who is taller and a black belt) holding him down and begging him to let it go and stop fighting. Nephew 1 is screaming, swearing and threatening to kill his dad. Dad is not as young as he used to be (45) and has the disadvantage of not wanting to hurt the person trying to kill him. Unable to settle the kid down (Nephew 1 is 23) and getting tired himself he yell to the girlfriend to call the cops - she does, 911 records the whole pleading, threat and eventual running away brother did to avoid further fighting and the cops pull up to find nephew chasing brother down the road and he once again resists arrest. They don't like that - really he's resisted in the last assault... it makes them very cranky.

Nephew 1 is taken away all is not good, brother is broken up and he and his girlfriend are cleaning us the blood off of the kitchen floor - but they hadn't locked the kitchen door - which all this drama happen via. In comes the wife and nephew 2, wife is crying and screaming that brother got drunk and beat up nephew 1, girlfriend quiet calmly states that that is not what happened. Wife screams 'home wrecker' as if this family wasn't a train wreck long before he moved out... and nephew 2 (who smells drunk) gets in girlfriend's face causing 1) brother to step between them and 2) girlfriend to walk into the next room and call 911 for the second time that night.

The recording, if the lawyer can get it released will show Wife and Son screaming, swearing and threatening to 'blow you away' - another point of fact back when nephew 1 was merely a cocaine addict and not a heroin addict wife bought a gun in her name and gave it to him when he was living in Oakland (Pittsburgh campus area) Finally after repeatedly asking them to leave, brother called 911 - that's stereo - two calls at the same time - the police took wife and nephew 2 out - no charges were pressed that night but after her telling everyone (they work together) that he got drunk and beat his son - he went down and filed a complaint.

I have known my sister-in-law for about 30 years... she has been behaving less and less rationally. I'm not a mother but sane mother's put their children's safety ahead of bitterness, pride or whatever neurotic problems they develop. I can't conceive what her purpose was in bringing Nephew 2 into that situation... what was she hoping for ... was he bait? If I can get him to provoke his father into striking him I can claim his father is violent...the kid was in her custody... it is very likely that at this next hearing with this incident he could end up in jail. Nephew 1 is back there...

I really fear that she is not sane. The two of us have always approached the concept of right and wrong from different angles... she thinks if you don't get caught its okay... me... I know God won't smite me for running that stop sign and maybe I can do it almost every morning and still not get a ticket but I still stop, I agree with the purpose of the sign it was put where it was to keep me and people I may cause harm to safe. She has raised her kids to believe they are somehow better or smarter than the poor schmucks who follow the rules. These poor kids just keep getting hammered by the oncoming cars and are stunned that somehow they aren't exempt to the consequences of their own actions.

I am afraid. Afraid for my brother. Afraid for those kids... the older niece (who should be in her freshman year of college was sent home in September for being dangerously underweight and having an eating disorder) is about 90lbs fully clothed, soaking wet and holding a brick - she is committing passive suicide, she spent a month in the Renfrew Center but I'll be surprised if she sees year end. The boys are being strangled by their mother... Nephew 1 at least is away from her in jail but I really think, after what she did bring Nephew 2 into that situation she may think if he kills my brother she can get the kid off on an insanity plea and all her 'problems' will be solved. The safest thing for Nephew 2 may be if he is incarcerate - may be it will break some of this creepy hold she has --- he should be in his senior year at high school but because he wasn't getting along with someone she has him going to school on line... basically he has taken over the role she previously had Nephew 1 in which was more spouse than son.

.

She's still here.

2006-01-02T21:08:26Z

I have hopes she is leaving soon but given that she is not paying for her own hotel, she may never go. She is very disruptive to my dad's routine and although he wants to see her and worries he won't see her again before he dies, she drains all the energy from a room and from everyone she comes into contact with. She is a very difficult guest. I realize the almost 12 years difference in our ages translate to us having very different parents. Just as I am not the same person I was ten years ago the people who raised me were more mature and mellow than the ones who raised her. As such, I grew to adulthood keeping an eye on my parents, knowing there were limits to their physical abilities and they relied on me more than they had on the older kids. She grew up expecting them to do for her and the she need not reciprocate in any way. But most only children or in her case, the oldest with a huge gap, grow out of that center of the universe mentality - I guess it is a little late to ever think that that will happen for her.

Friday, I came home from work (around 7 PM) to find my father alone. Not unusual even with the Sister-monster visiting but he looked so pathetic. He said he didn't feel well and that his throat was so sore he couldn't eat or drink - he hadn't had anything since about 9 AM. She's an adult, granted she never had kids but neither did I and I know how to take care of someone. She just left him their looking all white/grey and drained. She'll be 55 years old in May and later, after I called my brother and the 2 of us took him to the emergency room and had him admitted (with pneumonia) I called the Sister-monster who told me she knew he should go to the emergency room but that he didn't want to. ::Insert creative cursing of her intelligence and judgment::

He was released from the hospital today and is back home, but we have to A) follow the doctor's instructions about medicine ect and B) go in for additional testing as the X-rays of his chest lead them to believe he may be developing lung cancer.

Selfishly I am not ready for him to die. I can't say I ever will be. It's not like a year or two years from now will be any different. I know he takes up a lot of my time, but as much as I bitch about it I like having someone to fuss over.

ahhh ::3 day weekend:: sigh

2005-12-23T23:28:10Z

Happy Holidays, whatever those holidays may be -
REC/PRESENT to all of Days of Our Unlives - http://www.ficbitch.com/daysofourunlives/frames.html

It has become a bit of a annual tradition with me to pull up this long lovely series and read it this time of year (my version of 'It's a Wonderful Life') I don't know what made me read it in the first place because I am not normally an Angel/Spike shipper (Xander/Spike is my OTP) Maybe it was the title of the site "Sex, Violence, Strip Twister, These Are the Days of Our Unlives", really who could pass that up. It is 43 chapters and covers quite a bit of time but has a hearty Christmas section and Jeffrey and the Christmas cockfight have made me laugh so hard I have hurt myself on repeated occasions. So to anyone feeling a bit blue, or who wants a pick me up, go, read, laugh loudly it will frighten visiting relatives and nosy neighbors.

she's here... be very, very quiet

2005-12-23T00:39:04Z

The Sister-monster has convinced dad to see the doctor, and is taking him tomorrow morning.

(That spiteful voice in the back of my head tells me that's the least she can do since she whined at him about how much it costs her to come visit until he offered to pay for her hotel AND SHE'S LETTING HIM)

Times like this I wish she and the brother were still speaking 'cause he could shame her with sarcasm.

Happy Winter

2005-12-21T19:57:58Z

Good Solstice all.

The old man is still under the weather and just will not drink - its not like I can rassel him to the ground and force fluids on him. He has slept most of the day but did eat a bit of lunch. The Sister has not yet arrived, hopefully she'll see how he is and lay off the drama.

It's a Jerry Springer Christmas!

2005-12-20T02:03:01Z

Currently the brother has been going through a divorce (separate dwelling, repeated firings -they work together and own a business- numerous lawyer negotiated 'agreements' threats to bring up child abuse charges just because she hates him and does not want him to spend time with the children -3 of who are adults - court dates but no actual divorce) and housing his oldest who is under house arrest for drugs and assault charges and probably more they don't tell me about.

The plan was I take the old man to the brother's house and chow down with him and the bouncing baby boy - the rest of his family has to spend time with the mother-in-law (never let it be said its all bad)

Enter the sister monster - she is not speaking and or associating with the brother (but the sister-in-law hears from her almost every day.... there's a karmic lesson there)

The sister (who we expect to see on one of those news shows where they storm some house with double digit cats) was planning to come stay with the SIL (who really does not like her, but never does anything openly hostile) - Sunday she tells me she has to bring the sick cat to my house because SIL doesn't want it near baby (Baby is daughter of house-arrest nephew who neither I nor my father have ever seen - none of us, including my brother were invited to Christening). Sister was offered empty apartment of Nephew since his girlfriend/wife? and baby now live with The SIL ....but she said she may as well not come if she has to stay at apartment (whoa, alack such cruel people)

I pointed out that A) I like cats but can not breath near them and can not get sick right now, and B) the old man is 81 he is running a fever and has a touch of the flu - Selfishly I would like to keep him out of the hospital (and hopefully not have the annual Xmas countdown mark the anniversary of his death.

SIL slyly has said she will look for a reasonable hotel... I know this game, you wait until late Tuesday, when she planned to come Wednesday and say your sorry but the only one no booked are $$$$
So I gave dad the 800 numbers of Red Roof and Days Inn (both normally pet friendly-- I have a friend who shows dogs) so that he can possibly ward off a stoke inducing crying jag when she calls and lays it all on the Alzheimer victim tomorrow.....

If Sister does come I am curious to see just how SIL ditches her... she is not going to want to be best friends the whole time Sister is here.... SIL is currently very self-medicated and dealing with the younger son 18 also with a drug problem and the oldest daughter 19 with a sever eating disorder (the medication is so she doesn't have to admit that dragging the divorce out for going on four years now is what is pummeling the kids to death with pressure and emotional upheaval)

on a lighter note

Which annoying fan are you?

You are a SHIPPER. You favor other SHIPPERS. Your enemies are more SHIPPERS. You really need to get out more.
Take this quiz!

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I have resolved to update my journal more often....

2005-12-17T15:25:56Z

PURGATORY
Raw score: 38%

Purgatorial creature, neither pure nor dirty: I feel for you. Until I learned to accept my own darker instincts, I was once just like you.

You've been known to indulge your devilish urges, but you will also reject them forcefully, and perhaps you feel pulled in two directions at once. Only time will tell which way you go. As people get older they rarely remain in this half-good/half-naughty category. Some settle down and ascend to married and decent bliss. Some follow a more carnal destiny.

In the battle between sexual heaven and hell, you stand in no-man's-land. Good and evil wait on either side. The big question is: which side do you face, and which side do you keep in your rear?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 2% on hellishness

Link: The Sexual HELL Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

PURGATORY
Raw score: 38%
Purgatorial creature, neither pure nor dirty: I feel for you. Until I learned to accept my own darker instincts, I was once just like you.

You've been known to indulge your devilish urges, but you will also reject them forcefully, and perhaps you feel pulled in two directions at once. Only time will tell which way you go. As people get older they rarely remain in this half-good/half-naughty category. Some settle down and ascend to married and decent bliss. Some follow a more carnal destiny.

In the battle between sexual heaven and hell, you stand in no-man's-land. Good and evil wait on either side. The big question is: which side do you face, and which side do you keep in your rear?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 2% on hellishness

If you liked my test, send it to your friends!
The Sexual HELL Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=3910728582630298788

But not much happens worth noting so it may be a lot of this....

And furthermore

Your dating personality profile:

Intellectual - You consider your mind amongst your assets. Learning is not a chore but a constant search after wisdom and knowledge. You value education and rationality.
Conservative - You take a conservative stance on most issues and aren't shy about saying so. Your political views are an important component of who you are.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life.

Your date match profile:

Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Intellectual
2. Conservative
3. Adventurous
4. Sensual
5. Practical
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Shy
8. Traditional
9. Stylish
10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Conservative
2. Intellectual
3. Practical
4. Adventurous
5. Sensual
6. Funny
7. Romantic
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Traditional
10. Big-Hearted

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

I'm thinking with 'Romance at the bottom of my list and being 'big hearted' at the bottom of my 'ideal' date's list I'm going to stay single 'til the day I die

no wonder I'm so out of touch

2005-12-16T22:16:03Z

In the season of getting together with friends I'm going out to dinner and a movie. My friend wanted to see (and I quote) that gay cowboy mover. A few clicks on the net informs me that though the 'gay cowboy movie' (Brokeback Mountain) is critically acclaimed and a big hit with viewer, Pittsburgh is to backwater to get it... no scheduled release date for this area. I've never had to road trip for a movie....but Philly or Maryland come up as the closest theater. WTF?

::Insert minor rant::
Why can't theater chains and net flicks combine a release request list so that viewers could vote/request to have their cities added to the scheduled markets?

But is this a good thing?

2005-12-14T03:48:21Z

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I'm alive. I got my degree (it took long enough). I'm not writing. Nothing says holiday cheer like looking for family members on episodes of 'Cops'. Long story - but one of the benefits of having a relative on house arrest is a second belated Thanksgiving dinner.

I think I'm going to need lots and lots of 'Numb3rs'-slash to make it through a holiday season with half the family not speaking to the other half... any recs?